Ashram

On Friday I headed off up to the central coast to attend a meditation retreat at an Ashram. I have been going there since 2001, every year or so, and without fail, the instant the car I'm in pulls up into the car park, I feel a deep sense of peace and calmness pass through me. It's almost like coming home.

This time, for the first time, I managed to organise myself so that I arrived just before lunch. All of the food at the ashram is vegetarian and although it can occasionally be a little on the spartan side and is rather heavy on the carbs and light on protein, it is always delicious. So, I had lunch and then settled in to my room. The rooms are basic but comfortable and warm. I had originally booked in to share a room with two other (strangers!) women, but once there, I decided I'd benefit more from the weekend if I was on my own.

I then spent a lovely afternoon sitting in the sun and writing, attending a deep relaxation class and asana class and generally absorbing the strange feeling that comes with not having to be anywhere else or having to do anything else. Bliss.

There followed a couple of days doing much the same. Eating simple, wholesome meals, which I did not have to prepare or think about in any way, other than partaking of them. Doing early morning meditation and yoga classes, gazing into soft candlelight and gently stretching body and mind in the pure stillness of the predawn. Attending classes throughout the day on a very interesting purifying practice and being led through amazing meditations by a calm souled teacher with a soft, peaceful voice. Sitting in the warm afternoon sun, writing. Going for gentle walks along gravel paths, hearing the satisfying crunch beneath my shoes. Participating in joyous, joyful Kirtan of an evening. Talking to like minded people on a similar path.

It wasn't all peace, love and mung beans. There were moments where it felt physically and psychically uncomfortable, where I even had the odd fleeting thought of simply getting into my car and leaving and heading home. But those moments passed and I realised that attending a retreat isn't meant to be about having fun, about having a good time. Its about confronting yourself, facing the YOU that is otherwise obscured by everyday life. The YOU that is covered by all of the distractions and muck and mire of simply living. Stripped of technology, obligations and responsibilities, you are left somewhat exposed and bare, and yes, it can be uncomfortable to see what lies there. But it's also quite liberating and it's definitely interesting.

In the end though, it simply wasn't time enough. I left feeling as though I was only just getting into the routine of the day and feeling into the vibrations of the ashram. I intend returning before the year ends and will stay for longer than a couple of nights next time. I've promised myself that the next visit would be longer the last couple of times and having been there now on a half a dozen or so occasions, it well and truly feels as though it's time to increase the intensity on the 'work' I do whilst there.

All in all though, it was a wonderful weekend and I'm glad I was able to get away to experience the ashram once again. I feel as though I have a lot more to say about it all but I'm still processing it so perhaps it will come out in later entries. Who knows?

Hari Om Tat Sat.